Archive | July 2015

When can I…?

Visiting family in southern Spain, and meeting up with my sister and her family from Dallas, Texas, I got another rare glimps of family life and I keep thinking about the choises that set us apart, or draws us nearer.

Walking around in Mijas, a little village high above the city of Fungirola, my little nephew, aka «Monkey» came up to me. Falling in step he directed my attention to one of many tourist-souvenier-shop-traps that sold very authentic swords. Very..
Anyways, Monkey points them out, looks up at me, and asks

«Uncle Christer, did you see that sword?»
«Um, yeah shure»
Then he was quiet a long time, roughly 5 seconds.
«When can I get one?»
«When your 30?»
«How about now?»
«How about never?»

We heckled back and forth and I think we decided on somewhere between 18 and 27..

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The day after while laying on the beach sipping vino blanco, making like a lizard just absorbing the heat,- the talk from the night before got me thinking… (I was on vacation, and only give myself a little thinking-alowance each day) …that we always wait. We always wait.

Whenever you want something – anything – bigger than a can of coke,- it’s almost always not now,- but later. Some of the most often used words when dealing with dreams and wants are (I may or may not make this up as I go along)

Soon
Later
When you’re older
Next year
After (enter event as you see fit)

Being adult about it, this makes all kinds of sense. But maybe that is the problem? The adult part?

Take me as an example. I want a boat. But I’ve got to buy a house first. I want to start diving again. But I need the house first. 
During the day I want to do or buy many things but a stern voice always (most of the time) says «later», «next year» etc.
So I wait and postpone because that is the smart choice, and I am all about smart choices. The stern voice is backed by the chours of belivers who strongly believe they know better how I should live my life.
The verse of their higher learning is thundering in it’s wellmeaning arrogance
«You should…»
«You must…»
«You should…»
«You must…»
Like seaguls you can almost tune it out. Almost.

Asking myself the question so clearly spoken by Monkey; «when can I?»,- I realized a few things;

1) Demanding or asking sets us apart in two goups with a very different mindset, just like closeminded and openminded people. Feel free to draw any paralels here
2) Enjoy every day, even if some things must be postponed, still make sure that every day is a win
3) Don’t give a real sword to a nine-year old.

When can I? 
Whenever I want to. All choices have consequences, but I need them to be my consequences, following my coices. Not the wellmeaning arrogance of others..

Live for the moment. There’s plenty of time to be an adult later.

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